10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex

Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. Breakups can be tough. Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged situation. To deal when your ex dates your friend, talk to your friend so you can work through your emotions and maintain your friendship without feeling sad or angry. However, avoid telling your friend that they can’t date your ex since this might feel like an ultimatum and could ruin your relationship. To learn how to distance yourself from your friend for a while, keep reading!

What’s It’s Like When You And Your Friends Have Dated The Same Person

Yes, you may as many people tend to get completely wrapped up in your own feelings and give the middle finger to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, but if one of your besties decided to start humping your ex, would you be supportive or forgiving? Thirdly, yet without intending to come across as territorial in a caveman-defecating-on-his-patch-of-land sort of way, that person was with you and was part of your life. They were someone who significantly contributed to shaping the person you are today.

Anyone familiar with Friends will be fully aware of how often they swapped and shared partners.

There are a number of reasons to stay amicable with a former partner, and if you’​re Maybe you were dating a co-worker and you want to keep.

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present. You also need to ask yourself if the ex has had enough time to heal from the breakup or you could risk being the rebound.

Do they check off most of your boxes? Do you have strong indication that they reciprocate your feelings? A lot depends on the length of time your friend was with this person. A couple of years and a couple of months are two very different time frames and carry different sensitivities. It comes down to how you view your friendship — only you can answer which is more important. World Canada Local. Full Menu Search Menu. Close Local your local region National.

I Dated My Friend’s Ex. Will He Keep Hating Me Forever?

A close friend, 32, dated a woman for eight months, then broke up with her. Three months later, I began dating her after hanging out with her in groups. I told my friend my intentions.

It seems like at least half the people around you are dating, cozied up to a new guy/girl. Most of the time it wouldn’t matter, but one of your friends.

Even though there are almost eight billion people in the world, it’s hard to control who you fall for, and sometimes, it can be the most inconvenient person of all: A friend’s ex. No matter how long they’ve been broken up, dating a friend’s ex can put you in a sticky situation. Your friendship could mean the world to you, but if you haven’t been able to shake the feelings you have for your friend’s ex , it might be time to have a conversation.

While you may have heard time and time again that any and all of your friend’s exes are off-limits , this rule isn’t always one-size-fits-all. The only way to know how your friend will feel is to have an open, honest conversation with them where you express your interest in their ex. You never know — perhaps they’ll be incredibly unfazed, and you can pursue their ex without a worry.

On the other hand, if they aren’t OK with the idea of you and their ex dating , you may have to consider the possible repercussions, and whether or not you’re ready to face them. If you can’t deny your desire to date your friend’s ex , it’s important to keep these four things in mind, in order to keep the situation as drama-free as possible.

In a perfect world, you would be able to date your friend’s ex and keep that friend in your life forever. But unfortunately, it may be too hard for your friend to be in your life when their ex is part of it, too. If your friend and their ex ended on good terms, that doesn’t necessarily mean your friend will be OK with your interest in their ex, Dr. Brown points out. And if the relationship ended badly — especially if there was infidelity involved — tread lightly.

How to (Tastefully) Date Your Friend’s Ex

And how do you navigate that new relationship without causing issues? You dated someone for years, then mutually agreed to break up. You had a FWB situationship that kind of just faded out.

Wanting to reach out and be better friends with your ex-boyfriend or maintaining a platonic friendship after dating someone is one of life’s.

Wait for your friend to ask you a question about their partner or for them to vent to you about something before sharing your opinion. Talk with your partner and friend about the best ways to solve whatever is creating complications. And what you desire in a relationship might not be what your friend desires in a relationship. Some people like dumb people. Some people like bossy people.

Plus, these things tend to collapse on their own. Just be patient. Hint: definitely not the person dating them. You should ask to speak to them privately, and be prepared for some defensiveness. If you just have a general feeling of dislike, then adapting your behaviour to display friendliness can evoke a similar response in return.

16 Reasons to Not Date Your Friend’s Ex

Which is, of course, the people you already know. They likely know the restaurants you like and some of your Game of Thrones fan theories — they also probably know all the gory details about you and your ex. There are pros and cons to all of these scenarios. Who cares about what other people think? This is usually solved by being up front with both your ex and their friend and asking. But friendships are complicated.

Your friend is more than fair if she asks you how long you and her ex have entertained dating each other. And even if the topic didn’t come up before they ended.

You don’t fall in love with people because they’re fun. It just happens. A lot of people have surely been in awkward situations where one of your friends ends up with your ex or falls in love with your ex – and there’s nothing you can do about it. But there surely have to be rules on how long after your break-up one of your friends can move in on your ex, if at all.

One listener went on to say: ” Blair Williams King If you are very close friends it’s a no to date an ex. Friends become like sisters so I would never date my friend’s ex and I would expect the same in return”. Would you be okay with a friend dating your ex? How long would it take for you to be fine with it? Friends become like sisters so I would never date my friend’s ex and I would expect the same in return” Would you be okay with a friend dating your ex? Listen to the podcast to hear what KZN had to say:.

Read what Facebook listeners had to say:. Share this:. Show’s Stories. These clowns enter crisis zones to bring joy to refugee children World Humanitarian Day — Samantha Holdsworth, from London, is the founde

Pulse Opinion: It’s time to stop feeling guilty for falling in love with a friend’s ex

I dated “Jeff” for four years. I still think of him often as the one who got away. Anchorage is small, and sometimes I run into him, and it’s just the worst.

With your feelings, and of course, a friendship at stake, dating a friend you’ve known for For the record, it is possible to be friends with an ex.

It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her. Is your best friend in a happy, committed relationship? Know what that means? You love him more than her. Think carefully about how you feel. Do you really love him more than you do her? If you date him, you could lose her friendship forever.

My Ex Girlfriend is Dating One of My Friends

Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it’s not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it’s platonic, and even if it’s at their urging. I’ve never had a reading before and this was the best experience I’ve had.

Dr Okiti makes you feel very comfortable and at ease. I was obviously very nervous and she reassured me that it was going to be okay.

friends ex? Who the hell made up this rule anyway? Honestly, when it comes to dating a friends ex I think it really depends on the situation.

There is an unwritten rule that states a certain line should never be crossed. This line I am referring to is when you date a friends ex. In some situations, there is exceptions to the rule but in If you are already in this position I applaud you, it is all downhill from here. This friend of yours may say it’s okay and they may even encourage you to go for it but this is not how they feel. It is either a test to see if you will do it or a fake go ahead that you will regret.

If you ever get into a disagreement or full on row with your new boyfriend or girlfriend you will get unlimited support off your friend. And, then they will proceed to tell you how they did that to them as well. The situation will all of a sudden be much more dramatic than you first thought. This will leaving you feeling confused, even worse and on the edge.

If you are quite the opposite, cool as a cucumber if you will, the ex may tell you the comparisons. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend lets something slip about their “psycho ex”, it will be more than uncomfortable. What they get you for your birthday will no longer be a surprise as their previous gifts to certain people will start to resemble yours.

Is It Ever OK To Date Your Ex’s Friend?

It does, after all, seem like a hard line to draw in the sand. On the flip side, it might also impact your relationship with your friend, depending on things like how they broke up , how long they dated, and whether or not they still harbor feelings for this person in question. If the breakup was recent, for example, your friend may have some lingering feelings.

They may also feel awkward about situations in which the three of you might hang out after these new relationship lines are drawn. And in that case, your friend may not want you to have anything to do with the ex—to save you from future anguish.

Your buddies ex girlfriend never looked so good. Do you his ex? Have you known him or her as your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?

As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister? Would you be devastated if she never spoke to you again?

Is your friend happy in her new relationship and has long moved on? If this ex was someone that was a fling, a relatively short-term relationship and not the former love of her life, we would say proceed and see where things go Can you imagine if one of them is thinking in the back of their mind that they would be open to trying again if their current circumstances were different, i. A good question to ask is how did the relationship end and would either of them ever be open to trying again?

A tough question but you really need to know the answer.

How much time is acceptable before your friend can date your ex?

Yeah, honestly this article is only going to scratch the surface of why even entertaining this is all kinds of wrong. If you and your friend are super close, then she probably told you about her relationship with the guy. She has every reason to think that you dating her ex is a bit on the side of disloyal. Your friend is more than fair if she asks you how long you and her ex have entertained dating each other.

If you’ve ever found yourself yearning for a friend’s ex, you know that it’s a precarious situation to navigate. All good friends like to believe in the.

Pat Benatar alerted the nation of the state of love when she compared it to the heavy artillery and dirty bombs one faces in a war. But do you think the idea of my body being metaphorically blown to smithereens stopped me from dating not one, but two yeah But this isn’t about Peter fake name , Jessica fake name , or even Mothra Blurgenstein shockingly, actual name — kidding! From the lips of relationship fuck-ups and our resident sex sociologist, Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, here is what you should and shouldn’t do while dating the ex of a friend.

What kind of ex are we talking about here? Did they date for a week in eighth grade and break up via AIM?

Can a Friend Date Your Ex?


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